The Porcelain Butterfly
by xXshatteredporcelainXx
Summary: This is a Josh Ramsay fanfiction, about his life with a childhood friend to his current life. Struggles with addiction, friends, family and love force the band to make decisions that may change their lives forever.
1. It Started With

**Author's Note: Hello! This is my first fanfiction... And a Ramsay Fiction at that [**See what I did there? If you are a Trencher then you'll get that] **So if you see any mistakes please let me know (and please don't bite my head off!). Also, if there any problems with my story (you have the same one?) then just let me know. Other** **than that, enjoy! =)**

* * *

I remember sitting on the swings at the park. It was so peaceful; a quiet little place surrounded by trees and a pond where I would spend my time alone. I was watching the ducks, specifically a Mama duck with three little ones that followed behind her. Yes, this is where you'd find me, the loner. Except only this time, I wasn't alone.

He was sitting at the edge of the pond, feeding the ducks with a piece of crust from bread. He was wearing a blue shirt and a pair of overalls. He had light brown hair. Was I staring? I can't remember. The only thing I knew was that I almost fell off of the swing when he looked straight at me.

* * *

She was sitting alone on the swings; looking at me like I was some unknown creature. She was wearing a yellow dress and a pink headband that held back her long blond hair. The moment I looked at her, she looked down at her shoes. A butterfly, that's what she reminded me of. Curious, but shy. I don't know what made me do it, but I left my bread crust on the ground and started walking towards her. I was having fun, and I wouldn't normally just stop for some girl. But there we both were, two lives to intertwine.

* * *

'Maybe he didn't notice me looking at him. Maybe he'll just go back to what he's doing; just like everyone else who sees me...' I told myself. After a few seconds, I looked up again to see if my thoughts were true... and he was walking towards me. Someone was actually paying interest in me. And I was absolutely terrified. Closer and closer... too close...

"Hi! I'm Josh. What's your name?"

'What do I do, what do I do, what do I do. He—Josh is talking to me. I never talk to anyone, well, other than my parents. I don't have any friends. Someone please get me out of here!' There were so many thoughts running through my head at the time. I don't know why I was so nervous. Josh would become my best friend.

"Ivy..." she replied.

"Why are you sitting alone?" Josh asked.

"... I like being alone." Ivy answered.

"Well that's no fun!" exclaimed Josh as he sat himself in the swing next to her. "I've never seen you here before. Did you just move here?"

Ivy felt like sinking into her own world, keeping away from this complete stranger; whom she found slightly annoying for barging in on her tranquility.

"I've lived here my whole life, I just normally stayed in my tree-house." She timidly replied.

At this statement, Josh's face lit up. "Whoa! You have a tree-house? That's awesome! Can I go see it one day?"

'He is definitely outgoing, that is obvious. And he has nice eyes.' She thought. They were a bright blue.

"It's gone. My dad made it for me in the forest, because there are no trees in my yard. Some construction team cut the forest down for a new office building when I was at my aunt's house. When I got back to Vancouver, my tree was gone." Ivy lowered he voice as she spoke, trying desperately to end this conversation.

"Oh, I'm sorry. That must really suck." 'She's kind of a downer...' he thought. "Well, everything happens for a reason right? You would never have met me!" exclaimed Josh.

And he was very right. I'm glad he brought that to my attention. He had to leave after that.

"Let's meet here tomorrow ok? Same time?" He said before running off.

I had no choice but to squeak out a tiny 'Ok...' as he sent me a smile from ear to ear. He was so... happy. It was a nice change for me.

* * *

I still remember that day, I really wanted to see her again. I'm not completely sure why, but I'm glad I did. Maybe it was the way she looked at me with those green eyes, with hints of blue and a dark green ring that surrounded them. They were nice; but the way she looked at me... her glances told me that she wanted to be alone, but her eyes told me that she needed a friend. And so I would be one.

* * *

**Well, that's it for now! I'll try my best to get chapters up as quick as I can. I hope you liked it! =)**


	2. Every Memory Comes On

**Author's Note: Hello! Sorry it's been so long... I didn't think I was going to end up finishing this story, untill I realised that I actually had reviews. O_O So this time I will actually try to keep this thing going. Anyways, thank you for the reviews, and enjoy!**

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~Ivy~

'I'm nervous. I should just turn around, and go back to my room.' I said, standing in my house at the front door. I have my sneakers on, and I'm ready to leave. But I'm... Scared. I hate to admit it, but I'm scared. I honestly don't want to do this. But Josh... He asked me to come back. Not that I had any say in the matter, but somehow I feel like I shouldn't disappoint him. I raise my hand to the door handle, but hesitate. 'What if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks that I'm weird? And what if I do something stupid? I don't want to upset anyone...' I could go on for hours on all of the things that I might do wrong. "No more of this. Mom and Dad want me to make friends, so I will be the best friend Josh has ever had!" I think I'm just trying to convince myself.

* * *

I'm sitting in the same swing that I was in before; waiting. I have no idea what time it is. Before I left it was quarter to four, fifteen minutes from when he wanted to see me again. It doesn't take me that long to walk here though... My doubt is starting to creep in again. Not that it ever left. I wait for what has to be at least another ten minutes. He should be here by now. Well, I have no idea where he lives, maybe it just takes him longer for him to walk here. I'm trying my best to give him the benefit of the doubt; but I'm running out of excuses...

It's been about twenty minutes that I've been waiting here. "Face it, he's not coming." I said aloud. My eyes are starting to well up. Why? Why am I so disappointed? I wasn't expecting him to come anyways. Was I? Maybe it was the way that I hoped he would be sitting on the swings, waiting for me, with the same bright-eyed face and wide smile. What is wrong with me? Why am I so attached to this boy? I... I don't understand!

I wipe my eyes and look down at my hands. Only a few tears. Well, at least I'm not bawling my eyes out...

"Boo!"

* * *

~Josh~

"This... is a really good cookie." I said, as I walked away from my house.

"Oh Josh, would you like another?" my Mom said.

'Well... actually... yes. I'll give it to that girl at the park. Wait a minute... That girl? Dang, what was her name again? If I'm going to see her again, I should remember her name!'

"Thanks Mom," I said as I grabbed the second cookie. 'What is her name?'

I tried my best to remember as I made my way down to the park.

"Sarah? No, that can't be it..." Come on, remember. "Alex?" No, no, no.

I'm almost at the park. I can see the water.

"What is it?!" Why can't I remember? I can see her on the swings. Oh no. I mean, that great that she's here... Is she crying? I'm going to sneek up on her. It's a good thing I'm light on my feet. Just a little closer... and...

"Boo!" I shouted right behind her. She jumped right out of her seat. Now I remember.

Ivy.

* * *

~Ivy~

"AAH!" 'What in the world...?' I quickly turned around.

"Josh!" I yelled, half relieved, and half furious. "What was that for?!"

'Wait, I need to keep my cool. This is exactly the stupid thing I was talking about.'

"You scared me." I said, lowering my voice.

"You looked sad, Ivy, so I thought I would cheer you up!" he said, _very_ confidently.

"And how on Earth did you think that would cheer me up?" I exclaimed.

"Like this!" he answered cheerfully, and then held out a chocolate-chip cookie; wearing that huge grin on his face.

"Well, that works..." I said, beginning to laugh. He started laughing with me. I was beginning to feel better. My walls were slowly coming down.

* * *

Ivy was really nice. We hung out all day; I showed her how to skip rocks water, and she made bracelets out of long blades of grass while we talked for hours on end. We both made our separate ways when it started to get dark out. She looked happy, Hell, I'm sure we both felt happy. I wish it were like it used to be when we were young, not a care in the world. But then, we grew up.

* * *

**Author's Note: I really hope you liked the chapter! I started to add who's point of view it was so it wouldn't get too confusing. You have no idea how much it bugs me to write Josh's point of view; because I want to make it seem like a little boy is talking. I don't normally talk like that -.- Anyways, I'll try to update more often. =)**


	3. Untill It's Perfect

**A/N: First off, I'm sorry its taken so long to finish this chapter, along with school I've had some serious writer's block. And it's only the third chapter :S My friend trencher189 proofread it for me, you should go read her story "I've been down in Here Before". It's fantastic. Anyways, enjoy the story!**

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~Ivy~

"EEW!" she ran away from Josh, and screamed some more. "That's so disgusting!"

Josh laughed from by the pond. He held a frog in his hands.

"As if you did that!" Ivy turned to face him again. She gave him her best death-glare. He just kept laughing.

"What's wrong? Afraid of a little wet, slimy, sticky frog?" He yelled after her.

Josh dropped the frog and started to chase after Ivy. She tried running up one of the hills nearby. About three seconds later, he had tackled her.

"Great idea, smart one," Josh said.

Yep, should have seen that one coming. "Oh, grow up." Ivy replied.

"I'm only sixteen! I'm still a baby!" he said that last line with his bottom lip stuck out, and his eyes wide. "And who's idea was it to come to the park anyways, hmm...?" Josh pointed out.

"Touché," Ivy muttered. "It's just been so long. I kind of miss this place."

"Yeah, me too." He admitted.

Ivy and Josh were now laying in the grass. The sun was starting to set, casting a golden light across their faces. She closed her eyes and sighed, smiling. There was a cool breeze that passed. It was cooling down quickly. Ivy opened her eyes again and looked at her surroundings. The Summer's vibrant colours were slowly fading; the trees' leaves were changing to lovely mellow shades of yellow, orange, brown and red. Another breeze passed again, cooler this time. She crossed her arms and pulled her sweater tighter. She looked over at Josh, to find that he was already staring at her. They smiled at each other. She noticed how some of his tousled dark-brown hair was covering his electric-blue eyes. His cheeks were flushed, and she could see his breath. Still smiling, he turned his head forward again.

"It really is beautiful you know," he said. "Thanks."

* * *

~Josh~

Josh walked into his room and sat on his bed. He looked down at his jeans. They were covered in grass stains.

"Well, it's a good thing I didn't see Mom on the way downstairs. I guess I better get these in the washing machine before she sees them." he said to himself.

Josh got up and looked in his dresser. He only had shorts left. He went and closed his door. He was either too lazy to change his jeans at the moment, or it would be too suspicious to be wearing shorts in Autumn. Probably the former. His door would remain closed.

Josh grabbed his guitar from the corner of his room. He started strumming random chords, absentmindedly. He felt something buzz in his pocket. He took out his phone.

'1 New Message' it read. Josh unlocked his phone and checked his inbox; it was a message from his friend Matt.

'Hey. Be at my place for 7. Need to talk to you.'

Josh looked at his alarm clock. It was 6:45pm.

"Damn!" he grabbed some shorts from his dresser, but hesitated to put them on.

"Screw it," he would wear the shorts.

After he changed, he ran to the laundry room and threw his jeans into the washing machine. He ran upstairs; passing his mother on the way there.

"Going to Matt's house. See ya later!" Josh called.

"Alright, see you later honey," she said. She didn't question his shorts, she was used to his ever-changing sense of style.

Since Josh didn't have his driver's license, he was going to have to run to get to Matt's house. Just as he was about to close the front door behind him, he heard his mother yell from the basement.

"Josh, what happened to your jeans?"

* * *

**A/N: Oooh, Matt! I hope you liked the chapter. I'll try my best to get this one out faster this time. Sorry about that :S**


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